This morning, I was working with a VIP client. I asked her: “What do you need most today?” She laughed and said: “Help me accept help!”
After listing her many challenges for the week, she got serious and said:
“Logically, I know I can’t do it alone, but how do I make myself actually believe that?”
I often see Ops heroes stuck in this situation. Taking on every task and forgetting that asking for help is a smart move, not a weakness. Admitting you need help doesn’t mean you’re incapable. In fact, the key to success lies not in doing it all, but in knowing when to get help.
In this episode, I’ll explore what’s keeping you stuck in solo mode and provide practical steps to take back control of your time and focus on what’s really most important.
Why Accepting Help is Crucial
When did you last feel in control of your schedule? Doing everything alone can exhaust you and limit your effectiveness.
Even top CEOs depend on support systems. Think of a ship’s captain. Does she manage the engines, steer, and navigate all at once? No, she relies on her crew.
As the leader, your role is to oversee, not micromanage. Sharing the load eases your burden but also empowers your team.
Leadership expert John Maxwell said it well: ‘A leader who produces other leaders multiplies their influence.’
So, when your workload is overwhelming and you feel isolated with it, it’s time to figure out what’s keeping you stuck and get past it. It always starts with your thoughts.
The Power of Thought: From Passive to Purposeful
How often do you evaluate the quality of your thoughts? It’s easy to mistakenly believe that all thoughts are true. But they’re often like distorted reflections in a funhouse mirror. Just because you see a warped image doesn’t mean that’s how things are.
According to the National Science Foundation says the average person has approximately 6,200 thoughts a day, or about 4 per minute. Research indicates that 70-80% of these thoughts are negative, a phenomenon called ‘negativity bias.’ It makes it easier to focus on negative rather than positive things.
When you fail to monitor your thinking, you engage in passive thinking. It causes mental clutter that disrupts your day. In contrast, purposeful thinking involves consciously selecting thoughts that support and empower you.
From ANTs to Empowerment: Transforming Your Mindset
Start by just noticing your automatic negative thoughts, or ANTs (I love this acronym!). ANTs are those tiny annoying thoughts lurk in the background and pop out and derail your progress. Thoughts preventing you from accepting help might include:
- “If I accept help, it will look like I can’t handle my responsibilities.”
- “Others will think I’m incompetent if I ask for assistance.”
- “I should be able to handle everything on my own.”
- “My team will lose respect for me if I ask for help.”
- “Accepting help will just slow down the process.”
Unchecked, these thoughts take over like an ant infestation. These thoughts aren’t necessarily true, they are often limited in perspective, and they keep you in a very small place.
But once you’ve identified the ANT that’s causing trouble, you can challenge it and choose better thoughts.
Reframing Your ANTs: 3 Practical Steps
- Identify the Thought: Write down the specific negative thought that’s holding you back.
- Challenge the Thought: Question its validity. Ask yourself, “Is this thought based on fact or assumption? Is it based on the present and future, or on the past?”
- Reframe the Thought: Replace it with a more empowering thought. For instance, “Accepting help shows I’m a strategic thinker, and that I can prioritize effectively.”
By shifting your negative thoughts, you’ll likely feel lighter and more productive, like you’re shedding the weight that holds you back. This will serve you and how you manage your time. It also will help sharpen your strategy with your team.
Today I’ll leave you with this homework: For the next week, track how much time you spend on tasks that could be delegated, and calculate the potential time savings. For extra ninja-level bonus points: Identify your ANT and reframe it, following the steps in this episode.
Ever find yourself stuck in a loop of overanalyzing details? Episode 24 reveals practical hacks to overcome indecisiveness and boost your confidence in making swift, effective choices. It’s called “Conquering Analysis Paralysis in Operations Leadership,” and you’ll find it at yourfuturerealized.com/24.
You can’t stop the chaos, but you can change the game.
